too many words by laura lemay

still not dead yet

My number one new year’s resolution: spend less time in emergency rooms.

So remember all that whining I did about vioxx and how I was totally doomed to blood clots and strokes and heart attacks?


The good news is that I did not have a heart attack. The bad news is that it took the ER people the better part of the day to tell me that there was nothing wrong with me, which was what I had been trying to tell them all along, and what I had also been trying to tell my doctor’s advice nurse when she got all freaked out. No, I had chest pains on Friday but they’ve been going away and I feel pretty much OK now. The whole point of waiting and calling you was so that I wouldn’t have to GO to the emergency room. Darnit. And besides, I feel fine. I’m not having a heart attack, I’m 37 and I bench press 75 pounds. Jesus H christ. Oh vioxx. Right. I forgot about the vioxx.

So anyhow, apparently I had esophageal spasms. Its like heartburn only it hurts more and doesn’t go away. Unsurprisingly it is cured with an incredibly expensive pill that is not covered by my insurance.

Also unsurprisingly I have to change my diet again, and I’m supposed to give up the same foods I was supposed to be giving up for my kidney stones, but I hadn’t been because I have problems with being told what to do (well, OK, I had successfully given up the foods I didn’t actually like). I guess spending six hours in the emergency room is my body’s way of saying I TOLD YOU to KNOCK THAT OFF.

The other good news is that I burned through all my insurance deductibles early this year. :/

While I was in the emergency room they brought in a guy who had epoxied his dentures in. Note that epoxy has to be mixed, so this was not an accidental thing. Nutty epoxy guy was the only fun I had yesterday. Well, that’s if you don’t count the big drink I had when I came home from the hospital. The big drink I’m not supposed to be having.